How To Start Committing To Yourself


2018 and 2019 have been years where I learned a lot about myself—somethings good, some bad. The most prevalent thing that seems to have always come up through various therapy sessions, journal entries, and conversations with friends or family is that I have a hard time committing to myself. I have no problem doing it for others (I’ve been in a 6 year relationship that’s still going strong) or for someone else’s company (I worked in a big corporation for 3 years and did really well), but when it comes to me and my needs I tend to leave those by the wayside.

I’ve narrowed it down to not really taking myself seriously as an adult, even though that’s exactly what I am at almost 28 years old. So, for the last few years of my 20s I’m setting out on a journey to really commit to myself. If you also have trouble doing this, then you’re in luck because I’m dedicating an entire post to what I think will work the best and what I hope to achieve going forward.

Create A Plan

I find that without a detailed and structured plan I can’t really do anything or even feel comfortable trying. The main reason why I have such a hard time committing to my ideas is because I rarely sit down and plan them out in detail in order to give myself an overarching view of what the next few months will look like if I were to pursue them. I kind of fell into freelance writing and rode that wave until I ran out of ideas of how to push that business forward and really make it grow in a way that felt appropriate for me.

So, this time around, as I prepare to dive back into my freelance business, I’m taking all the necessary time I need to thoroughly plan out how I want it to look, what I want to make, and how much I expect to spend doing it. Crunching those numbers and being honest with myself won’t be easy, but as long as I have a detailed plan to stick to, I know it will make the processes a bit simpler.

Stick To It At All Costs

It’s all fine and dandy to create a plan, but at the end of the day, if you don’t stick to it it’s completely useless. This is where I very often falter in making my ideas a reality—I don’t set up the infrastructure I need to feel confident and motivated to follow through. This infrastructure looks different for everyone, but the important thing is to first recognize what it is for you. As an example, a part of the infrastructure I currently need is enough money in my savings to feel comfortable moving back into a freelance career at some point in the future. For someone else it might be the support of their partner. Take the time to think it out and, while you’re at it, why not jot it down in your plan too so that you’ll always have a reminder.

Remind Yourself Of Past Achievements

It’s hard to feel motivated to take on a big idea or attempt to make your dreams a reality if you completely forget all the things in your past that you have already achieved. I do this very often and it never serves me well. It’s important that you allow yourself to look back at what you’ve already achieved and really let yourself remember how hard it felt in the moment but that you got through it anyway. If you could get through a broken leg, getting your degree, or repairing a broken relationship, then you can definitely do this!

Always Do What Feels Congruent

In the process of following a plan I tend to regularly check in with myself to be sure that it’s still what I want to be doing. Just because this is something you wanted a few months ago, it doesn’t mean it’s still right for you now. Or, even making sure that the methods you are using to get to where you want to be still align with your values and needs. The process should make you feel complete within yourself and not that you are being pulled in different directions because half of you doesn’t align with your plan.

Do Your Research

This is the biggest one for me—knowledge is power and it’s always good to get as much of it as you can before you take the leap. This can apply to any big life change; you’ll feel much more confident and capable to accomplish it if you’ve learned everything about it that you can and are prepared for any curveballs that might be thrown at you. If you are trying to get fit, learn as much as you can about the appropriate daily diet and workout regimen for you. If you are launching a business (like I am), take as much time as you need to get down all the nitty gritty details of what to expect so that you aren’t left feeling helpless if you are hit with something that you didn’t even know was a variable in the process. Always know what you’re next move is going to be even if you never have to make it.

I’d love to know if you have issues committing to yourself and what you’ve done to improve them.