This month’s little loves aren’t going to be so much physical stuff that makes me happy, but more ever ay experiences that I have grown to find pleasure an enjoyment in. I’m definitely someone who puts a lot of value in the little things and sometimes they can be too small to really recognize. So, by talking about them it allows me to really appreciate the small stuff that is making every day just a little bit nicer and worthwhile.
Toronto has already gone down to -20 degrees, so needless to say, I am really loving the mild weather we’re having here in London. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a winter this warm, and I know if I were to say that to a homegrown Londoner, they’d be horrified. In all honesty, it’s been nice to get a break from the frigid wind and snow that Canada is known for and be able to still take my beloved long walks throughout the city without worrying about getting frostbite. Seriously, that’s a real concern in Toronto during the winter.
My feelings towards my “career” have been all over the place since early 2018. I started working as a freelancer officially in February and since then just went with the flow, trying to figure out what would happen when I finally moved to London and where the path would take me. I didn’t really put much effort into finding other clients while still in Toronto because I had resigned myself to the thought that I would just get another office job in London, so I didn’t really put in the work to cultivate my writing career.
After moving to London, however, the search for an office job was easy, but met with a lot of hesitation on my end. It wasn’t the lifestyle I wanted to live, and I knew that, I always knew it. And yet, I was still trying to force myself into that role, I guess as a way to find a job that others deemed more valid than freelancing. I’m sure other freelancers experience this, but you do get looked down upon when you tell others that you work from home, on your own schedule, and on your own projects—maybe it’s resentment at the freedom or pity at the inconsistent flow of money. Either way, I fell victim to those tactics and was sure I wanted to just get another “normal” job, until one day when I basically had a mental breakdown from the stress of trying to find an office job while also mentally preparing myself to stop working in a field that I actually enjoy.
Since then, I’ve accepted my life as a freelancer and have allowed myself to enjoy the hustle a little bit more. I managed to find myself another client and am currently in the market for one more to fill up my schedule, and I’ve actually been having fun. I’m less stressed and now able to focus on cultivating a career that I actually want to pursue long-term.
Living In A Different Country
I was very hesitant when deciding to move to London with my boyfriend all those months ago, and even though I am still trying to find my footing in such a different culture and lifestyle than I was used to in Toronto, I can now say that I am thoroughly enjoying living in a different country. It’s hard for me to acclimate to things, so it’s taken a bit of time, but now I’ve been loving exploring the city and getting a feel for what makes London so unique while actually being able to immerse myself in it. I’m really looking forward to the summer where I’ll be able to traverse the city a bit more by foot during the warmer weather.
I’ve kind of already talked about this above, but I really love taking long walks. Ever since spraining my ankle back in November, I haven’t really been able to workout as aggressively as I used to and the best alternative has been going out for an hour or two and walking around the city. It’s a great way to get myself out of the house and give my mind a break as well as actually move my body in a way that won’t injure my already weak ankle.
Difficult Women By Roxane Gay
Unfortunately, I haven’t really made time to read this year. I’m not sure why, but I really don’t like forcing myself to if I don’t feel like it because it makes the experience less enjoyable. I see a lot of bloggers discussing their 2019 goals to read 100 books or whatever, and that just makes me tired to even think about. I want to read to escape into a different world for a little bit, not to check something off of my to-do list.
Anyway, I recently started reading a book I bought all the way back in July of 2018—Difficult Women—and I have really been enjoying it. The more work I read by Roxane Gay the more I enjoy her tone and the sense of humour in her writing. It’s a feminist book, but fiction and uses these characters to discuss a few common themes within feminism and the notion of some women being “difficult”, while simply being regular people with realistic problems. I would recommend this book to anyone that likes short stories and feminism—that’s all you really need to enjoy it.