A really difficult aspect of growing up for me is realizing that I am allowed (even encouraged) to change my mind. Making big decisions is already hard for me, so to then change my mind about them leaves me feeling uncomfortable and sometimes even embarrassed. As someone who copes with stressful situations by placating to others, being judged for my choices is what I dread the most about an adult life, yet know that it’s unavoidable. However, as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to accept (kind of) that no matter what I do I will be judged by someone, whether negatively or positively. For today’s post I wanted to discuss why changing your mind and expressing your difference from others is one of the most important things you can do for yourself and your personal growth.
I don’t want to completely minimize the experience, but at the end of the day, you will change. Change is inevitable and it’s important, so the sooner you accept that the easier it will be to come to terms with the idea that you are no longer in the same mind-set that you were a few years ago. Sometimes I think about what past Kat would be thinking about the woman I am now and I’ll have to admit that she’d be pretty concerned. Not because I’m doing anything that I feel guilty about or unsure of, but because I have come to a point where I no longer feel as closed off and guarded as I was back then. This shift in who I am and awareness of my change has allowed me to express my wants and desires a lot easier than I could have a few years ago.
You’re Never Always Right
I am the first person to advocate for trusting your gut and instincts, even if they take you through twists and turns that you didn’t expect. However, I also now realize that those instincts aren’t always right. They are influenced by a variety of factors, some of which aren’t necessarily aligned with where you want to be. So, by allowing yourself to accept that you’ve changed your mind about something that you initially felt so strongly about you are free to travel down roads that could have initially felt uncomfortable, but pay off in the long run.
Taking Advice From Others Isn’t A Form Of Weakness
I used to hate taking advice from others because it often made me feel inferior. As if I was giving up my power in some way to agree that their idea is better than mine. The older I’ve gotten the more I’ve realized that weakness isn’t about admitting you’re wrong, but rather when you know you are and refuse to do anything about it. You might have a plan all laid out in your head and then your friends or partner provide an alternative plan that, as you think about it, sounds much smarter. Changing your mind because of their advice isn’t a betrayal of your intuitions or desires, but rather a realignment toward a path that might be much better for you, but you just needed a bit of help to get there.