I’ve always strived for self-improvement, no matter how uncomfortable or earth-shattering the experience might be. Sure, I spent many years huddled within the comfortable shell my childhood experiences created for me, but the older I get the more I realize how important it is to recognize my faults and face them head on. The faults I see in myself might not be perceived that way by others—I’m slowly learning that the only opinion about my happiness and self-worth that matters is my own. Every day is a journey to enlightenment and self-acceptance, so I thought I would write a post all about the things I want to improve on in my daily life in order to help transform myself into the well-rounded person I hope to one day be.
My Meditation Routine
I was meditating regularly back in November after I sprained my ankle and tumbled down into a long bout of anxiety. I would use the app Headspace as a guide and would only meditate for about 3 minutes every morning while lying in bed with my ankle propped up on a few pillows. Even with that small amount of time that I dedicated to redirecting my mind to focus on my breathing rather than my anxious thoughts I noticed a significant difference throughout the rest of the day. But, of course, when I noticed the improvement I figured that I didn’t need to do it anymore.
I’ve realized how important it is to train your mind out of the habits you’ve been taught and into the ones you want to perpetuate for the rest of your life, which is why I want to make meditation a regular habit again.
How Much I Read
Whenever I go through bouts of anxiety my mind can’t seem to focus on anything else, which means that I can’t do as many of the things I once loved to spend my time on. Along with blogging and writing, how often I read has also been affected. It’s been incredibly hard for me to pick up a book and stick to it for a certain period of time in order to finish it and then move onto another one and it’s really making me lose confidence in myself and the way I am spending my free time. Now that I’m transitioning into a new job that feels more aligned with my interests I hope to get back into reading on a regular basis.
The Food I Eat
I love treating myself, but I’ve also noticed that the times when I seem to be doing that the most correlate with anxious feelings or overwhelming stress. While I don’t want to restrict my eating, I also want to be more mindful of what I’m eating and when the splurging might be getting a bit out of hand, especially if I’m not making sure to eat nutritious food throughout the day. Not only does making an effort in my food make me feel more confident, it also plays a bit part in my cognitive function.
I fall into slumps very easily, perhaps because I am such an anxious person who is always somewhat on the edge. I tend to let everything around me go in order to focus all my attention and energy on what is causing my anxiety, making me lose motivation in other aspects of my life that are important. Going forward I want to improve how I allot my motivation and what I spend my time focusing on, which is tied to learning more about my anxiety triggers through therapy and self-reflection.
How I Speak To Myself
I’ve never been someone to take things too seriously, so I have no problem poking fun at myself or my friends in a non-threatening way. However, I’ve realized that this habit has made me comfortable speaking to myself in more negative terms than I should be and has made an impact on how I view myself and how confident I am. The downfalls that were pointed out to me as a child are still prevalent in my mind and me pointing them out now is only making the issue worse. Going forward I want to be a bit nicer to myself and offer self-acceptance for any mistakes I may have made or any flaws that I think are there.