Therapy was something I wanted to experience for years before finally taking the initiative to make it happen. Suffering through bouts of anxiety ever since starting university and dealing with it on my own was becoming more difficult. There was only so much I could discuss within the pages of my journal before I needed some helpful tools to achieving the results I wanted rather than just pouring out my thoughts in catharsis. It's been a month since I started going to therapy, and I couldn't be happier, especially knowing that I finally took the steps I needed in order to help myself through trying times.
The first two sessions were like letting air out of a big balloon - everything was said quickly as though it had been waiting to come out and my therapist noticed the way my body would react to how I explained certain situations. She pointed out that I would hold my breath a lot of the time when I would get anxious discussing something and that my shoulders seemed to brace themselves when facing certain conflicts. It was very enlightening to learn about what my body was doing when I wasn't paying attention and what that meant for my overall emotional and mental state.
We often discussed what happened the week prior to our session, trying to unpack certain instances where I felt overwhelmed and find a way that I can deal with them or confront them while still feeling comfortable and confident. Confrontations have always been difficult for me and I'd rather shy away than try to come to a clear cut conclusion, so we've been working on building my confidence with doing that. I seem to always be standing in my own way when it comes to achieving the things I want, either out of fear or a lack of confidence, so I am hoping to slowly learn what it takes to achieve that level of personal understanding so that I don't feel like my desires are completely out of reach. So far, I have learned, through real life practice, that I am capable of confronting situations, however always feel worried about what the backlash will be so I tend to cower from it. But together my therapist and I have found the best way for me and my personality to deal with these confrontations when they arise.
Not being very good at verbal communication I didn't think I would enjoy therapy as much because of how much talking I have to do. However, it has allowed me the opportunity to get certain things off my chest that previously I never let myself do, even with friends, family, or my boyfriend. I would recommend a few therapy sessions to anyone who might feel like dealing with life's curveballs is becoming too difficult alone. There are people who study the intricacies of the human mind and are equipped to help you through your journey to self-discovery and recovery.