So, here I am. A month after leaving my office job to really try and figure out what I wanted to do and the next steps I wanted to take. It was a hard decision to make, so it helped that my boyfriend and family were supportive enough to make me feel comfortable doing it. I can’t say that it’s something everyone should do because we all have different circumstances, but there are a few things this experience has taught me—some I expected to learn about myself and some I didn’t.
DON’T FORCE THINGS
For a lot of my life, I’ve tried to force myself into things. I’ve tried to force myself into different personas based on what I thought was necessary, forced myself into the corporate environment thinking it was something I should be doing, even tried to force myself into converting my hobby into a full-time aspiration. During these 30 days I learned that you shouldn’t force yourself to do anything that feels uncomfortable.
After I left my job I had hoped that I could change my hobby of blogging into a full-time job later down the line. After all, so many people have already done it and who wouldn’t want to turn their hobby into a job. This seemed logical to me, however, I failed to acknowledge the fact that a hobby is sometimes only enjoyable because it gives you an escape or change from the other aspects of your life. That’s not to say I wouldn’t love to get paid for doing what I enjoy, but making myself blog every week day for a month was exhausting and left me feeling uninspired by the end of it all.
WE ARE NOT SIMPLE
As much as I’d love say I am a writer I hesitate because writing only exhibits a part of who I am. This month I've learned there are so many facets to me that it’s hard to pinpoint one and identify solely with it. I love to write; I also love to play guitar, workout, read, interact with others. I guess all of that can be put under the umbrella of artist, but there are also days when I just want to be helpful. To look outside of my self and my thoughts and simply be there for someone else, bask in their essence and feel like a part of their life rather than them being a part of mine.
Maybe I’m over thinking what it means to have a job or to ‘work’, but I’ve been having an incredibly hard time really understanding what I want for my future. Of course, I have a few short-term goals like finding a more fun job near my area and adopting either a dog or a cat, but I’m not sure what’s to come in the next few years. Will I still be in the same state of mind? Will my desires still align with my partner's? And will my hobby of writing lead me down a path greater than one I expect?
These are just a few of the thoughts plaguing my mind at the moment.
Are there any goals you want to achieve in the next few months or years?