The majority of my life has been spent living in comfort. I don’t mean ‘comfort’ in a white privilege kind of way, but it could be seen like that. I’ve just always been very good at acclimating to my surroundings. This effortless acclimation has held me back in a few ways, but primarily with regards to being more assertive with my life. It’s easy for me to just sit back and let things happen as they may, and even if the outcome is something I dislike, I’ll tend to accept it. As I’ve gotten older and started forming the person I am, I’ve realized that this can no longer be acceptable especially when it comes to a career or personal life.
A few years ago I ended a long time friendship because of comfort. Things had grown wearisome as a lot of effort was put in on my end and none on the other. But for a while I didn’t want to let things go; I had known her for almost a decade and that familiarity was enough to keep me trying to schedule get togethers. After a while I realized (along with my other friend) that it was time to let our friend go. This complacency had left us exhausted despite how obvious it was that we weren’t getting anywhere. I often wonder what things would be like now if we still had her as a friend. Would there still be a struggle to see each other? Or would she have eventually come around? But I wasn’t willing to wait for something that was so disheartening at the moment, so I took the plunge to make a change.
This palpable complacency is also present in work life. I’ve already hashed out my issues with office jobs in previous posts, but what I can emphasize is that it’s easy to get comfortable in positions like those. The salary is tantalizing, pushing you to give just one more year of your life to pay off your loan, or get a car, or save for a house. These ‘eventually-s’ and ‘someday-s’ are enough for many people to sacrifice passion for momentary prosperity. I say momentary because that money will dissipate, but the fire of your passion can burn endlessly. It’s an easy trap to fall into, but not one to crawl out of, as I experienced first hand when I decided to leave my job due to this obstructive comfort I was experiencing. Things were so simple, they were difficult; so effortless, they took all my will power to attempt. These are not fun paradoxes to live in.
Recently I’ve also started becoming a bit comfortable with my creativity. Anyone who reads Katerina Writes will have noticed that I’ve been blogging every weekday this month…except Thursday March 23. It feels like I’ve hit a bit of a plateau with my content and pictures. This could possibly be because of the stagnant rainy weather we’ve been having, not really letting me get out of the house to explore the city and its intricacies. However, I’ve felt my creativity slipping just that much more, knowing that there are a few cliché or standard blog topics I can turn to if I need something last minute, and that’s not a mentality I want to have with my writing. I want to strive for nuance as much as I can, whether that be with the topic or simply my own unique take on something generic. Slipping into creative comfort feels tedious and stifling and I’m sure that comes off in the art itself.
Have any of you experience too much comfort in your lives that you want to break free of?