It’s only been a week, but it’s felt like an entire month that I’ve been away. Not because I didn’t enjoy myself, but because I was essentially in a different world than I have known for the past few months. No schedules, no rules—just relaxation and thought provocation. The first bit of the week was dedicated to getting to know the resort we were staying in; it’s white walls and swaying palm trees. After we had acclimated to the change of scenery, we were really able to lay back and let the calm of a work-free life overwhelm us like the pulsating waves of the ocean.
I can’t say it’s been easy coming home with the understanding that soon I’ll be going back to work in a position I don’t really enjoy when only a week ago I felt so at peace. This sensation of sudden shock and complacence has got me wondering why we stay in certain situations that no longer bring us joy. I am specifically referring to my current work situation, but this can apply to relationships or education as well. Why is the notion of forcing ourselves to stay in a miserable situation more convincing than taking a chance to experience something we may enjoy much more?
I’ve concluded that this stems from the fear of the unknown. Perhaps you are making a good amount of money at your current job and the uncertainty of salary with a new position is enough to keep you trapped in something you don’t enjoy. My entire life has been a struggle between doing what I want and doing what I think I should do with the underlying fear that everything could come crashing down around me if I change anything. Not a healthy mindset, I know. Or one that really allows for personal growth and development.
January has been one of those months where it seems like I am on the precipice of change, ready to fall into that scary but intriguing abyss with one small motion. It also feels like if I don’t make even the slightest change, I’ll be stuck in the same place I have been for the past few years. Both of those scenarios are scary and a fork in the road that I believe a lot of people will or have encountered. If you have encountered it, can you give me some advice? And if you haven’t, well I’m not going to be providing any legitimate answers in this post…so…sorry.
I’ve been raised with the mentality that once you have something good you don’t mess it up, but I was never really given many options or examples of what is considered “good”. Yes, a stable income is great for providing security, but that is not always the be-all end-all of what it means to be successful in my opinion. Happiness has to fit in there somewhere, right? If not complete bliss, then something a bit more motivational than just a bi-weekly pay check. I guess this is what your mid-twenties are about—finding out what you hate doing so that you can find out what gives you some sort of pleasure with decent compensation.
February has come so quickly that I almost feel out of breath trying to outrun 2017. But it’s here and it’s time to face it so I’ve decided that this month will be 4 weeks of some sort of change, whether that is health and fitness, career-wise, or simply working on my blog more as it allows me some self-reflection. Stay tuned to read some more rambling posts like this were I spill whatever thoughts are in my head with some pretty pictures to accompany them.